IN OTHER WORDS | I’m In Love With My Flat Iron

Polly Dad Jenny 1987 or 8 or 9-1It’s true. For a girl who had a Roseanne Roseannadanna perm in her 20s, it’s hard to believe my favorite appliance is, in fact, my flat iron. She even has her own travel case.

Never, ever did I think I’d be that girl; a girl in love with a beauty appliance. I have complained, whether justifiably or not, about other physical attributes. And yes, that’s a feminist issue and this post is not about that. It’s just not. It’s about a freaking flat iron, so get in the right mindset, or go read Gloria Steinem. You can’t have it both ways.

I will say, I have pretty good hair. That’s one thing I’ve been blessed with. It has nice body, good color—although now, it mostly comes out of a tube—texture, shine. It’s healthy. Stylists have said so. I have to think they know. I can do long, I can do short. I’ve done curly (with mixed results, see picture circa late 80s), wavy, blow-outs, bangs, no bangs, pixie, bob, long, layered. I’ve tried it all. But, when I discovered the flat iron, oh Nirvana, I was home.

I never really mastered the art of the blow out so I often had funky results. I did best when I washed and styled daily (annoying). When I was younger, and I had more time, it usually looked great. I’m realizing that as I’ve gotten older, and lazier, maybe my hair thinned or I lost my touch, or both. At some point, about a decade ago, I went from long-all-over-dark-brown-plain-Jenny to, I’m-ready-for-bangs-and-a-new-look.

My stylist and friend of twenty years did a little happy dance and said “Yippee!”

Out came the foils, off came inches and voilà, bangs appeared, blonde highlights, layers were born, and at the end of it all, she wielded a strange and wonderful tool. She called it a “flat iron.” What was this unusual marvel of technology? You laugh. I am, in fact, a dork and should have known the flat iron. I knew of the flat iron; but we had never officially met. I was in awe. My hair glimmered in the light. It was smooth and shiny. I was a goddess. OK, let’s not get carried away, but my hair was goddess-esque.

I had to procure one of these magic tools. I asked my stylist and she, as always, gave me guidance.

“Don’t go to the drug store. You want a ceramic one or you’ll fry your hair.”

I took notes. Thanks to the wonder of the Internet, I found a magic wand of my very own. Once ordered, I waited, and when it arrived, I held it in my hands and marveled at its beauty. Since that day, I have been able to correct just about any flaw, even less than clean hair, and get by, with the flip of a few turns of ceramic heat.

I remember introducing her to my sister. She was flabbergasted, she too, a flat iron virgin.

“Why does your hair look so good?” she asked one day with equal parts flattery and jealousy, as only sisters can do.

“It’s my flat iron. Do you want to try it?”

“Yes.” And she did. And she took notes.

Comments

  1. We have the same hair. I also love my flatiron. I even have a mini version for travel, that’s how much I love it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, you have a baby too. So sweet. My big girl travels with me in her special travel case. I don’t travel a lot so it’s just the two of us. Hard to justify adopting another. You’ve given me something to think about. (I don’t want her to get jealous though.)

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  2. OMG how fun to read about someone else whose world was rocked by a flatiron! I too am so low maintenance about hair/beauty stuff but would gladly carry the unborn child of the person who invented it. Really enjoyable read…

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  3. When I had long hair, I loved my flat iron. Couldn’t go anywhere without it. I also am a blow out flunkie, and don’t even get me started on what happens when I try to use a round brush…

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  4. It is crazy to think that in this day and age, there is someone who doesn’t own a flat iron but that someone is me. Going on to Amazon in 3..2…1…

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  5. From the photo’s on the posts, I am obviously a LOT older than most of you. Having a head of half curly half straight hair, I recall my flat iron was an actual iron. A staple in my bathroom was an ironing board. I am just grateful to the universe I still have the top of my ears they were burned so many times.

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