Nightswimming

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night
I’m not sure all these people understand
It’s not like years ago
The fear of getting caught

I awaken at 2 a.m., cell phone in hand, glasses askew, giant sham pillow stuck behind my neck. I was passed out in the middle of what? Words With Friends? Strange day yesterday where possibilities of the summer opened up to me, our family, good things. Change. Change rattles my cage. I spent the afternoon, proverbial head cocked against it, busy busy, fold that laundry, unsure how to move forward, off my game, just wanting the day to end. And look what the day did to me, it came back. Aha, you can’t escape me! You will face this unsettling whatever it is and it will be OK. But it will wake you up in the middle of the night. So, here I sit at my computer, 4 a.m., coffee, cats, writing.

Last week there was also change. It was stressful, but with the same side benefit of opening up the rest of the summer schedule. We can actually go away for a few days. Last night, in just under an hour, my husband and I planned a mini-getaway for our family. No schedules, classes, appointments, stress. We need this.  

I need this. I need to learn and to experience the feeling of nightswimming. The freedom in the dark, being in the water and knowing I am safe. I may not always see where I am going, but I will get there. And there is often better, richer, deeper. What is meant to be, and not my continued failed attempts to control my world. It will be, it will flow, it will happen. There is a water’s edge.  

The recklessness in water
They cannot see me naked
These things they go away
Replaced by every day.

R.E.M. Nightswimming

Copyright Night Garden Music

Comments

  1. Greetings from Los angeles! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to check out your site on my iphone during lunch break. I enjoy the knowledge you present here and can’t wait to take a look when
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    Like

  2. heartwriter says:

    Beautiful writing, beautiful sharing.

    Like

  3. Your writing takes my breath away.

    Like

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