Time May Change Me, But I Can’t Trace Time

 

Changes. Some changes simply happen. You age, the sun rises and sets, the earth rotates. Other changes take effort and consciousness, patience and readiness. But, we do pass through time every moment of every day, why not make that continuous change a positive one whenever and wherever we can?

I recently read—on a randomnly Googled website—a wonderful description of this. Jose Vilson calls himself an educator, writer, poet, web designer, activist. And that he is. Check him out at www.thejosevilson.com. He used the same title line above from David Bowie’s Changes to define and explain the concept of slope in mathematics. He talks of walking forward, backward, standing still. This is your variable y. Time is your x. Whatever your y does or is, your x still and always changes. Time moves even when we stand still. Mr. Vilson, I hope I didn’t butcher your explanation too much, please know that it resonated with me.

Wherever I go, whatever I do, the choices I make—these all move through time, an x variable I am powerless to change. That being the case, I can focus on my y variable. What choices will I make? What changes will I make to y such that in the end, my slope will be a positive one?

I am on the edge of changes now. I can feel it. Some I am resisting. They are mostly personal, not about friends or family, just me as a woman, a writer, a person. My world is full with love and support within the confines of the walls that make my home, in the community where I live, with my friends, my family spread across the country, even within my cyber-community. I am blessed.

But and so, who am I and where do I want to go? What is my next y? I see paths ahead in some cases. In others, the path winds, I don’t see the next step. Some scare me because they mean choices I don’t want to make. Even something as seemingly minor as changing a beverage choice: giving up my daily Diet Coke. Some are larger, what’s next for me in my work? Is the second novel bubbling at the surface? What stories do I need to tell?

I am not a patient person. I have always known that. Growing older and having children was good for me, it helped me to learn (some) patience. I get anxious about what’s next and sometimes rush in to it rather than wait to feel it, be guided by it. My instincts are good when I listen to them. Because to paraphrase Bowie, who is indeed never wrong, pretty soon I’m gonna get a little older.

Strange fascination, fascinating me

Ah, changes are taking the pace I’m going through.

Here’s to y variables. Here’s to positive change.