Heed The Call

 

It’s been over a week since I have written and I feel it. I have good reasons for the hiatus: my kids were sick then I caught it; life happens. When we were sick it was crunch time. I was in lowest common denominator mode and simply didn’t notice the void of not writing. I do now. I do so much that I need a nap and yet I am sit here sketching an outline, at least, of this post because my soul needs it. I may have to pick this thread up later because my intellect is at battle with my body and right now my body is winning. I need a nap. But my internal red flags, those signs that tell me something is wrong, have been flapping like a hurricane’s a brewing. And perhaps it is.

When my balance is skewed, I have the reserves to power through. A sick child, for example, makes other priorities fall lower on the list, and some things simply fall away never to return. That’s life but I can only sustain that imbalance for so long before my “self” cries out for attention. If I’m listening well, the cries don’t have to be loud; they don’t have to sound over and over and over like a snooze alarm that just won’t quit. But other times I forget to listen, to plug in to the cues and before I know it I’m anxious, I’m bitchy, I’m not getting enough sleep, I’m craving cookies—whatever it is, it’s time for a re-direct and baby I’m there. First thing I do to re-direct is this. I sit down and pound out a few hundred words. It’s usually not my best writing and it doesn’t need to be much but it gets the ball rolling. I often come back to the topic later, but it’s a start. Sometimes a nap is what I need, a day in bed with a book. I’ve written some variation of these words before—it’s all about self-care. And on that note, I hear my pillow calling.

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